It’s been quite a while so I do apologise for the lack of posts. Life has been very busy, and very different to what it was around even half a year ago, but for some major good reasons; mainly my health and career.
Last month I went for another surgical dilation to my stoma and an ileoscopy. I have had problems with my stoma becoming tight and narrow and having spasms just inside my stomach before it exits my skin since about a year after my operation. These episodes have not really had much pattern and had become quite nasty when they just suddenly came on with no warning out of nowhere. It was literally how I can only describe like passing glass. I have been dilating my stoma (widening it) by inserting a medical rod down it for about the last half a year on and off and things seemed to get better for a considerable amount of time so I stopped doing it. A few weeks down the line it was back again, but worse, so through to the hospital I went after work and got some better painkillers sorted out and given another dilator to use twice a day for around 2-3 minutes each time. About a week later, I got a call from my stoma nurse saying I would need another surgical dilation. The dilation itself I can remember most of; the sedation didn’t seem to make it less painful… I just did not feel as bothered. Then afterwards it made me feel drowsy, spaced out and exhausted for a good few days after alongside being sore. When they did my scope at the same time, they found ulcers & my heart sank; I did not want to face Crohn’s so severe all over again after having to go to such extremes and nearly lose my life a few years ago to battle it. My surgeon took biopsies, and needless to say, the next few weeks were a very anxious wait with my head all over the place. I tried not to think either way or read too much into it, so not to set myself up for a fall or the opposite, but that is easier said than done!
Last Friday was a hugely emotional day. I went to hospital and saw one of the surgical registrars for my results. Since the first time before I was 7, I have finally gone months without a Crohn’s Disease flare. The ulcers in my last scope and biopsy were non-Crohn’s and have died down & I got told that my Crohn’s Disease is in remission; it is NOT ACTIVE! 🙂 I have waited since before I was 7 to nearly 23 to hear this news & never believed the day would come; I am still in complete shock. I am the healthiest I have ever been & am living my life without pain & intense struggle every day. Life is not without problems, but if I can get through what I got through when I had my operation and for years before as far as I can remember, then I’d say I am already doing a considerably good job. Since my life-saving operation in August 2011, it has taken me a lot of effort and struggle to get to where I am now, but it has all been worth it. Having to dilate my stoma is not the best thing in the world and I would rather not have to, but so what? It’s nothing compared to what I have had to go through before and it could be much worse. If that is what it takes to keep myself away from pain and surgery then so be it. I get dehydrated easily as well, but I am drinking a lot more water and making sure I stay on top of that as much as I can. I am medication free for my Crohn’s! 🙂 It is still so hard to believe. It is so amazing! 🙂 I do have my days and situations where I have not fully come to terms with it yet, but even a few years on it is a learning curve.
I couldn’t have done it without those close to me; you know who you are & I could never thank you all enough.
I would also like to give a special mention to my Uncle; my inspirational warrior who I miss so much every day – I wouldn’t be as strong as I am now without you & your courage & bravery. His determination to live life even dealing with the horrible struggles of IBD and beating cancer was truly inspiring. We lost you so unexpectedly two years today & in all honesty, it feels like a lifetime since I saw that warm smile of yours & I think about you so much every day. Without a doubt, I would have crumbled long before now without your amazing strength that you showed to me in the hardest times of your life. Even though I haven’t laughed with you or hugged you in a few years, that strength and courage that you gifted me with still lives within me & comes with me everywhere I go. I know you always believed in me, and whether it be in health or work or life in general, that belief still lives on and pushes me to take the extra steps I need to take, no matter how hard or scary they may seem. You will always be my hero & everyone remembers you for your smile, how you made everyone chuckle & how you were one of the nicest & genuine people anybody could have the pleasure of meeting. My hero is an angel ♥
I will do a post soon about how my career has changed for the better and will get back into blogging more regularly.
Thank you for reading.
Until next time,